Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
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