i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize
