Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
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