So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I need a beard to bite.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
