you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
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