idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
NoShamevember. You game?
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
