She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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