Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
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