I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Randomize
