she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
do nipples grow back?
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
