My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
