ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
