woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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