wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
