dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
This girl is more easily done than said...
I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
