After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
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