One girl and one boy is just not enough.
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
