this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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