there's paper in my vomit.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
