Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
I bet he comes in French.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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