and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Randomize
