I just made out with a guy for $7.
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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