Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
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wow
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Randomize
