its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Randomize
