dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
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