Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
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