dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
