Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Randomize
