She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Randomize
