??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
