You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
Hey man sorry I got all grabby
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
Congratulations! We have a period
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