I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Randomize
