stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Randomize
