What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Randomize
