Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
