isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
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