love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
