If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Randomize
