um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
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