Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Randomize
