I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
