dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
