I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Randomize
