but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
