He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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