Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Randomize
