His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Randomize
