Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
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