Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
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