ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
